dos por uno

There are two types of people in the Philippines.

1. The Filthy Rich

The filthy rich is characterized by having a mansion in the most posh villages of the country. These people own at least one luxury car with a chauffeur to drive it and another guy to take care of car maintenance. The "other guy's" tongue is used to check if its filthily clean by running a lick 'round the luxury car. He is well paid, of course.

Meet the family.

The father is usually a politician. Otherwise, he is some guy who is not Asian-looking. i.e. with Caucasian bloodline or Chinese genes. The wife, most of the time, is a former househelp with a really voluptuous body - the kind every other politician would fall for - and a very obedient nature - the kind every other politician would also fall for. If she isn't a former houselp, she is a politician's most valued hostess in the most famours girlie bars in the country's most famous red-light district. I forgot now if it's Malate or Pasay. Now the filthy rich kid doesn't really know how to do housework. He has a maid to wipe and clean his arse when he poops. He has another maid to prepare his food and school uniform. And another maid to just follow him wherever he goes. If the filthy rich kid is unlucky enough, he gets a bodyguard to also follow him wherever he goes. This time, with a gun tucked in his pants' crotch.

Too much comfort. Too much hassle.

By the way, the Filthy Rich does not talk, even in their dreams, about the second type of people in the Philippines.

2. Downtrodden Poor

There's not much to say about this type as they are not famous. They are not politicians. They may be Caucasian or Chinese-looking - and it's maybe the reason why some of the most downtrodden poor people are Filipino celebrities. They mostly feed on drama, intrigues, explicit love affairs, sex scandals and other mischief. Those are the downtrodden celebrities.

The typical downtrodden poor family.

The father is employed (sometimes unemployed). He usually drives a jeepney or a tricycle or a pedicab. The daily wage is not enough to afford them some leisure time in the malls. But somehow, the father find ways to have that daily those of alcohol to keep his sanity alive. Local brand is San Miguel - gin, beer. (You would want to know at this point that I prefer beer. Look at my beer belly.) Mrs. Downtrodden Poor is, as expected, unemployed. She has given birth to a minimum of 5 children (not at the same time though). And is currently expecting for a another one. Four more kids to go. Or more. The downtrodden poor kid, and I greatly envy this, is the happiest person in the Philippines and the whole world, in my opinion. He plays in the rain. He plays under the heat of the sun. That's were he really got his tan, I suppose. He runs around. He makes sand castles along the shore. He smiles and laughs at anything childlike or silly. He seems not to grow up. He doesn't care about the world or how tomorrow will come out. He just doesn't care. He is carefree.

I wanna be like the downtrodden poor kid. Not that I'm filthy rich.

You must have understood the difference now. And oh, the downtrodden poor loves to talk about the filthy rich. It's their past time. If only gossips could kill, they say.

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And Mark has decided to have his own blog too! About time, man. I'll you up to me bloggie, deffo. :)

www.heddison.blogspot.com