god bless my calcium-less body

...or my third world, slant-eyed existence. (thanks Deej for your creative writing)

...or my curly hair accentuating my equally curled thoughts on some really bended issues.

Yeah it's the Deej-Noah saga I am talking about - where the two have had their own faults and some more random and unnecessary musings.

In fairness to Deej, I have been most unbiased in handling the situation. I've heard his side. I've squeezed myself of all influence to get the two of you reconciled.

In fairness to Noah..err actually I have been not fair. I made clear to him his faults. I had to enumerate like a Catholic girl reciting the litany of the saints. (Have mercy on us and other bs...)

And yes, like the freakin Catholic that I am, I've washed my hands and spared the trouble of sorting other things out which gave birth to this infamous saga. Because I had to be fair.

But whatever happened to Fedora's laments? Whatever was done about his complaints? He was promised an immediate action on the matter but if it takes months we may have to edit the meaning of immediate. Fed is one of our most intelligent members and now he doesn't come back because he was disappointed. Been made to look like a fool (his words exactly).

Oh fairness where for art thou? You may have been fair to Noah and Deej but what about the others who came in to have fun and get lashed out because they were fat (i say healthy), boring (i say educated), chatters when shit's hit the fan (i say concerned) or yes slant-eyed (i say Asian) or just plain connected to the other erring party? Why talk about the Noah-Deej issue when we cannot talk about the Fedora issue?

If this was a workplace issue, someone must have been laid off.

It this was a racism issue, someone must have been banned. (Hey what happened to the new site rules I drafted?)

Yeah. Justice for Fed. I would bring out my anarchistic attitude and slogans but is it worth fighting for really? Do you fight farts with squirting guns? Do you stoop to the level of the obscene? Will you let decency suffer at the hands of the unworthy?

fracking capital NO.

P.S. It's sad to say goodbye to the one place you held dearly in your heart (as opposed to people who would use it (lemme borrow Max's line) to ask peeps to show their asses and tits, insult members and not really do anything worthy for the site but just plain bs in general.) Sad truly, innit?

But then again you'd think...

*Drum beats*

*Friends...how many of us have them? Friends...ones you can depend on. Friends...*

que pasa contigo?

Stop...
When the church bells clank.
You have to pray the Angelus
And make Satan all jealous.

Stop...
When the flattened, uniformed man
does his usual disturbing hand
and body gestures like a shy clam.

Stop...
When the three-inch heel starts to wobble
And make yer knees and toes wiggle
Didn't I tell you not to haggle?

Stop...
When moving on hurts.
Ye can be a li'l masochistic
Lest your fragile heart burts!

Stop.
Relax.

ALL-AMERICAN

1. the merkin football

max promised that when we meet he is going to explain the american way of playing football. sweet

all i know is that merkin football is all about one BIG team with BIG and able bodies trying to stop another BIG team with equally BIG and able bodies from getting an ikkle football to get to the other side.

basically, BIG bodies touching/rubbing each other.

touchdown, BIG time.

hehe.


2. the merkin diet

it's friday and it's one of those last day of the workweek lunchbreaks spent in the office. sumptuous topic for the day: merkin obesity.

"how come americans get fat when they eat too much rice?"

"they have salad."

"yeah with MAYO."

"they have sammiches."

"yeah with MAYO."

it's the mayo.

not quite so, max disagrees. "it's in the processed grains.". eating monotonously. while the filipinos have a diversified diet - veggies, seafood, poultry, cattle.

god bless the american diet.

riding in cars with sissies

kumusta naman kaya ang bagong taon?

aysus.

kahapon papuntang opisina, sumabay ako sa car ni ate janet kasi libre na ang pamasahe at wala akong car. 'yun yon eh. sumama ako kahit na kasama rin nila yung ex-bf ng ate gem ko at yung pesteng tatay nung ex-bf ng ate gem ko.

gusto ko lang malaman kung sya ba talaga tatay nung mga anak nya. kasi kung pumutak sya, para syang babae - babaeng pakialamera at tsismosa.

punyeta. nagjeep na lang sana ako.

nung martes naman, nakasakay ako sa bus galing Maynila. hanep sa amoy sa loob ng bus - balot, mani, suka at suka. OMG! at parang hindi pa talaga kumpleto ang malas ko, may lalaking lumipat sa bus namin kasi yung pesteng bus nila ay nasiraan. may dala syang dalawang kahon na may lamang tig-isang manok. pansabong ata. gusto ba naman isuksuk sa may paa ko yung mga kahon! ano ako "cock cuddler"? matalo sana sa sabong mga manok nya!

at sabi nang nagjeep na lang sana ako.

ay isa. nung isang gabi pauwi, may nakasakay akong magkasintahan. kulang na lang dilaan nung babae yung tenga nung boyfren nya! tingin ko nagbubulungan sila ng malalaswang salita sa isa't isa. Yucks.

syet. nasa jeep ako nun.